I am learning to be present and respond rather than react out of fear and worry. I know that I have been a part of the problem, and I am sorry. I have learned that alcoholism is a family disease, that my life has become unmanageable (due to my reactions and issues), and that my recovery will occur a day at a time for the rest of this lifetime. The biggest impact, however, has been realizing that I need to focus on my own recovery. I have done things for you that you were capable of doing for yourself. I have obsessed about and enabled you, bailing you out financially and rescuing you in other ways to try to prevent the next crisis. I have felt taken advantage of and helpless about your lying, aggressive behavior, lack of cooperation, and lack of respect for my stated needs. I have felt angry, recognizing that my trust was violated. I have felt guilty, thinking that your pain was my fault and that I failed you as a parent. This disease has shaped both our journeys for several years, and I have feared day and night that you would die. You are beautiful, intelligent, creative, kind, and compassionate, and I love you with all my heart.Īfter a great deal of suffering, I am seeing the impact your dependence on alcohol and drugs has had on me. I will let someone in today and feel the rush of happiness. Being truly there for another person is the key, which unlocks the gate holding happiness back. It flows between us when we open our hearts to give and to receive compassion. We'll find it because it's been there all the time. The way still isn't easy every Step we take, but we will find happiness in those fleeting moments when we can get outside of ourselves long enough to be fully attentive to the people in our lives. How distorted our sense of happiness was before finding our way to this program! How futile our search! Because we look for happiness "out there" and expect it gift-wrapped in a particular way, we miss the joy of being fully alive each passing moment. Nor do we appreciate that happiness lives within each of us never is it intrinsic to the events we experience. Seldom do we readily accept that painful moments are often the price tags for peaceful, happy times. We think we know what will make us happy. Maybe the moralists are right and happiness doesn't come from seeking pleasure and ease. cannot attest to the accuracy, relevancy, timeliness, legality, or completeness of information provided by any other website.Your sense of what will bring happiness is so crude and blundering. is not responsible for the content, practices, policies, or methods of any other website, including, without limitation, any other website's collection, dissemination, use, and protection of personal information, its use of tracking technology, or its level of computer security. (A.A.W.S.), or any products, services, or content displayed, provided, promoted, or offered by such other website. Linking to any other website, including but not limited to websites affiliated with other organizations inside the Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) service structure, does not constitute the endorsement, sponsorship, or approval of such other website by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. This website provides links to other websites, including websites affiliated with other organizations. Clicking on the SoundCloud or Privacy policy links in the audio player will redirect you to the SoundCloud website
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